So my good friend and compatriot Aikurisu posted this journal about himself, and encouraged us followers to do so in kind (so he said). So! I shall do as he requested and throw down ten things about myself that I suppose might be relevant.
1. I used to have a really bad temper. I think I got it from my dad, who would often get exceedingly angry at things when they didn't go right. Since he did a lot of work with his hands, his rage would often be taken out on the tools or objects he was plying in particular. He would curse, generally, and throw or hit things he was working on when mad. I would do the same thing at times when I got frustrated - just yell and act like a brute. After I dated this really laid back, chill girl for about two years I sort of had that anger sapped out of my system. Since then I don't think I've gotten stark-raving angry.
2. I've always wanted to be a professional writer someday. However, a lot of things have gotten in my way since then. For example - I am a full time college students and so I am duty bound to write several essays in the course of my studies. Being a history major, we normally write quite a bit. My last project included a detailed description of Cossack history, which was limited to six pages. After doing about ten to twelve pages of writing, I had to narrow the subject down to simply "History of the Don Cossacks until the 19th Century". Specific, and heartbreaking - I really liked that paper.
3. I have this immense desire to finish studying the Russian language and become fluent, but formal instruction has almost killed my enthusiasm for the language.
4. I've done game design (mostly level design) for several games growing up, starting with Starcraft and then moving into Descent 3, Freespace 2, Earth 2150, Natural Selection, Warcraft III, Star Trek Armada II, Sid Meier's Railroads!, Ground Control II, and even System Shock 2. It seems if I've played, chances are I've tried level design with it. I love the stuff.
5. I have extremely low self confidence. From elementary school to high school, I was 'that kid' on the bottom of the totem pole. I harbored a lot of resentment for my attackers, but I never seemed able to fight back. I'd freeze, or say something stupid. It never really got better until my last semester in high school and finally my graduating to "college". People are less hostile here, since they know you might have all the answers.
6. I feel as if my taste in women has progressed greatly over the last couple of years. I feel as if I went from chubby coupled with emotional baggage to now trim and possessing a zest for life. Somehow I stumbled upon one of the best relationships in my life and it has prospects of, dare I say, working out?
7. Also, I am a licensed gunsmith. Pretty cool, huh?
8. I sometimes wish I'd had the experience of making love to a complete stranger who didn't even speak my language. I think that sort of body-language-only communication would be a unique, human experience. Could you even culminate love simply out of touch? I wonder sometimes.
9. I sometimes wonder if I had motivated myself to pursue different interests as a child if I might have turned out differently. I find that I am always coming up short of excelling at something - I always do just what I can. At least, it feels that way sometimes. Where did all my motivation go? Can we control our ambitious drive, or is it something we struggle with on a regular basis? I always feel like I've yet to unlock my full potential.
10. I wish I didn't get so focused on things sometimes. When I begin getting involved with something or someone, I sometimes lose contact with my friends of the outside world. I guess socially I am pretty bad at multitasking, know what I mean?
There you go Kris. Enjoy!